Monday, October 10, 2005

The Marriage Thing

I have an opinion, or maybe it's just a "stance", on the gay marriage issue that will probably make everyone mad. By everyone I mean those on both sides.

There's going to be a vote on an amendment in November here to ban gay marriage. I'm abstaining. I can't believe I'm doing that and I've never done it before. I always vote.

I just don't get it. For one thing, we don't even recognize gay marriage in the first place in this state, so how can we ban it?

Secondly, as a scriptural thing I liken it to divorce laws. Our divorce laws are not scriptural, and yes, it has been to the detriment of the family because it is much too easy for people to divorce. And so, families are split up and it ultimately hurts children. Even though there are cases when some children are better off. But, ideally, the best scenario for any child is to be raised in the loving home of the biological father and mother. End of story. God's design is that it takes a male and female to produce a child and ideally, a male and female together should raise that child. And yet, in our fallen, sinful state, no matter how you have sex we've managed to screw up families. My own children are being raised in a broken home and have experienced unnecessary pain and discouragement because of the sinful actions of their parents. ALL of us. I guess my point in all that is that our laws all ready do not reflect scriptural principals. And so, banning gay marriage on the basis of the fact that I think homosexual acts are sinful doesn't hold up for me. Banning it on the basis that it destroys the family doesn't hold up either because heterosexuals have done a bang up job of that already as well.

Thirdly, I know of gays who have not spoken to anyone in their family for years because of coming out as gay. Should a scenario happen where they were in a life-threatening situation or unable to make decisions for themselves, it would be up to people who haven't had any sort of relationship with them in years. It doesn't seem right to me that their "loved" ones relationally wouldn't be able to visit them or care for them in a drastic situation like that. If they at least had some sort of civil contract then those closest to them relationally would have rights concerning them. I obviously don't agree with gay couples raising children. But that's happening all ready in spite of what I believe about it.

I don't know.

These are just my thoughts and I'm sure it's infuriating to most people that I could think this way. Or maybe not. I just don't know. So, I'm abstaining.


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Robert said...

Grace, I think you have made some very insightful comments. It is not an easy issue on either side.

Norm! said...

Although I certainly respect your decision and right to abstain, I don't understand your decision. Your thoughtful analysis seems to conclude that the arguments for the proposed amendment are poor. However, you seem to be willing to allow the amendment to made part of your state's foundation. I have to ask: Would you be so willing to abstain if this law directly affected you?

Admittedly, as a gay, liberal, blue state Democrat, Christian, I'm obviously bias. I've never understood how banning gay marriage "defends marriage". It seems no fault divorce and women's equality have been far greater threats to hetero marriage than gays marriages. But I have yet to hear of those on the 'defense of marriage' side propose constitutional amendments to eliminate divorce or gender equality.

grace said...


I'm not always the brightest bulb in the hall but I'm pretty sure my arguments are about the same as yours. :) The thing is, I just don't see this having any real effect on our culture in the significant ways I believe we need change. I'm sure many disagree with that but I'm willing to take my chances either way. Honestly, that amendment is going to pass here with great resound and much fervor. Which is an unfortunate statement on the culture here. Most won't even give it a second thought and would wonder who in the heck decided we needed to VOTE on such a thing in TEXAS of all places. Again, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. :)