Here's my very over-simplified take on the problem that exists between the Ex-Gay movement and the folks at Ex-Gay Watch, who I'm assuming, represent a significant portion of the gay population in general.
Here are the things I can "get away with" in the camp over at Ex-Gay Watch.
1) stating my belief that homosexual acts are sinful and against God's plan for man
2) giving my own personal testimony about how Tdub has reduced his unwanted same sex attraction (through therapy and spiritual healing techniques) and increased (greatly) in his sexual attraction to me
3) speculating about the nature vs. nurture debate concerning sexual attractions/orientations and sharing personal stories or personal experiences
4) relating "change" of the sexual attraction sort to the Christian walk and other struggles with sin (namely, mine)
5) asking questions about the level of promiscuity in the gay community as compared to promiscuity in the hetero community
6) a bunch of other stuff but I'm tired of trying to think of all of them
Here are the things that WILL NOT under any circumstances fly with the camp over at Ex-Gay Watch. And, you may ask, why do I care what they think? Well....mostly....because I love those people. the gays. I respect them as individuals and as unique creations of God, and I just downright like them too. Because of that....I don't do these things:
1) being more appalled or SO appalled by homosexual acts (which I consider sin) than my own sinfulness or all types of other sins that I'm surrounded by on a daily basis and which do JUST AS MUCH to tear at the moral fiber of our culture as ANY other sin
2) making it sound like someone can actually be "cured" of same sex attractions as if it were a cold or something.....or, making it sound like there are "quick fixes" and there are hundreds of thousands of people who've followed some handy dandy steps and chosen to be free of unwanted same sex attractions. it ain't that simple. it's tough....and the hard truth of the matter is that some are more successful than others and it's difficult to understand why.
3) making relationally ignorant statements like "people are not born gay" which obviously does nothing more than INCITE gay folks. people are just born. i'm no more sure (and no one is) of when they receive gayness or straightness than those who argue about when an embryo becomes a fetus, becomes a soul, becomes a baby and on and on it goes. obviously....and my husband can attest....there are those who don't remember not being attracted to the opposite sex as soon as they were sexually attracted to anything at all....so....at what point that occurred...is really and truly still up for grabs. it is.
4) saying things like, "you just need to have more faith" or, "you aren't really a Christian if you're still gay" or, "you obviously have a bad relationship with your father and your mother must have been over-bearing" or, "gays are recruiting people to be gay"....maybe they would, if they could...but they CAN'T! if i'm an alcoholic, the person who took me to the bar for my first drink did not RECRUIT me...i was pre-disposed to that sin and it just IS. And it always will be. The fact that it's more acceptable than ever for young folks to go hang out in bars is not because of an "alcholic's agenda". It's just because of our society at large. (i know i may get in deep doo doo for comparing homosexuality to alcoholism.....i'm sorry....i hope you can love and forgive me)
5) talking about promiscuity in the gay community and never once mentioning that promiscuity is actually a HUMAN problem.....not confined to gays. Furthermore, seeming to blame all the evils of the world and our current culture on gay promiscuity. I've got problems with promiscuity here at my house....but not of the gay sort....son #1 is KILLIN' me! I guess...at least if he were struggling with gay sex I wouldn't have to worry about becoming a Grandma! (humor is one of God's greatest gifts and I'm finding every way I can in this situation to find it)
6) just being plain disrespectful of the gay community at large. yep, i think it's sin...but ya know....there are SO many sinful things about our culture.....i see no reason to go singling them out as the "axis of evil" for what ails us.
Ok.....I've had that little rant in me for a while and now it's out.
For those of you who read here and DO struggle because your attractions are unwanted....take heart. It sucks, I know. But there's always, always hope. Even when you screw up. (no pun intended! ha!)
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