Here's what's on my mind.
I got into a conversation with some folks over at Ex-Gay Watch a few weeks ago about the movie.(Actually, it was a review of the movie.) There it is if you want to read it. I found my conversation there to be cordial and enlightening, for me at least, and I was pleased that I'd engaged. I felt accepted and valued as a person with an opinion. Imagine that....we could all take a lesson from it. If the mood so strikes me I will comment there again. The thing that I feel compelled to talk about here, on my blog, after having spent some time reading posts and comments on that blog is reparative therapy.
There are a great number of gays who've tried reparative therapy but it didn't work for them. For whatever reason. It's not my place to judge why it works for some and not others. My point is this. Sometimes it DOES work. I understand that on a site like Ex-Gay Watch there's going to be an over-whelming number represented for which it didn't work, possibly caused pain, and left the person in depression over the fact that they were still gay. Basically, for those folks, they see it as a huge stumbling block toward their goal of accepting themselves and embracing their sexual identity. I get that.
But, the fact remains that there are those, like my husband, for whom reparative therapy worked. Being careful not to offend anyone's sensibilities here (this is, after all, a sexual issue) but our marriage has gone from nada in the way of sexual intimacy/fulfillment to mucho bueno. Sure, he could have accepted himself as gay and gone on to those pastures, but he didn't choose that path. He chose this one. The next part of this debate naturally always turns to "what does change look like?" What if he's still attracted to men somewhat....eventually he's going to "fall off the wagon" and you'll find him in gay bar looking for the life he's always dreamed about. So what if he is?(still somewhat attracted) So what if that does happen?(return to gaydom) What then? Nothing, that's what. Life goes on. God will pick us both up, piece by broken piece, and heal us. Heaven forbid it ever come to that....but...come what may, we're in.
For us, it's not really about reparative therapy at all (even though it is). It's about a life of faith in Christ to redeem and restore us to our rightful place in the kingdom He created for us in the beginning. Reparative therapy has, no doubt, contributed a critical piece to the making of the wholeness that is US as a married couple. It worked.