Here's the trouble, as I see it. If we say we "love the sinner, hate the sin", we are saying that we are able to do something that in actuality only God can do sucessfully 100% of the time.
We are human. We rank things. We line things up. For instance, as an art teacher I display an enormous amount of work in the halls of our school. Usually, the works are somewhat similar in that they are a response to a specific lesson. And yet, they are each unique and different. I can guarantee you that a given person, walking down the halls, stopping long enough to really look at all the artwork, will start comparing them. They will find one or two that stand out as better, in their opinion, than the others. It's part of how we are made. It's what we do. People might disagree about which artwork is their favorite. In fact, they will. Nevertheless, they will rank and choose among the works.
We do the same thing with our sins. Some sins carry more of the "yuk factor" than others for a broader range of people. Unfortunately, homosexual acts carry a high "yuk factor" for the general "Christian" population at large. This is a problem. We (Christians) need to get past this. And not just as it pertains to homosexual acts, but other things as well.
I'm trying to think of a sin that carries a high "yuk factor" for me. Homosexuality (which implies homosexual acts) certainly does not. I hug and kiss and goo and gah with my gay friends. I absolutely LOVE them and don't think diddly about what they do when I'm not around and they are in the privacy of their bedrooms. Heck, I don't even get grossed out when they embrace or kiss each other in front of me.
BUT....let's see....I do have a real problem dealing with people who are prideful or arrogant. I'd just as soon not be around such people. They turn me completely off and I have no use for them. There's no credibility, no authenticity to me, with people who blatantly act as if they are better than others. And yet, I'm supposed to love these people but hate their sin of pride and arrogance. I have a hard time with that...because to me...that sin ranks higher than the others. I rank sins. I can't help it. Someone could be as pure as the driven snow morally and yet be prideful and I'd have a very hard time "loving" them.
I say all of that to say THIS....
Love the sinner needs to stop RIGHT THERE. Just LOVE the SINNER. The sins are very rarely against us personally. I, for one, have been personally hurt by the sin of homosexual acts. And yet, this is the very sin that God has called me, even designed me, to be most compassionate towards. God is so funny that way, huh?
LOVE THE SINNER. Sins are ultimately against God. Not us. Yes, we are the voice of God crying in the wilderness. But, you know, what good does it really do to continue to proclaim that I believe homosexual acts to be sin? At some point, I've just got to get on with the business of loving people no matter what. And so, I'll let God hate the sin and I'll concentrate on loving the sinner.
Works for me. I wish that formula could work for ALOT of other people.