I believe it's time to write an addendum to the "Reparative Therapy" post. Since it ends with the sentence "It worked."....well...you get the idea. I can't just leave that there after what's occurred.
This entire experience has given me a fuller understanding of many of the points my friends David, Timothy, and Peterson have made to me over the past year or so. And never, ever have any of our discussions, by email or phone, been anything but cordial and even enjoyable. They have all proven themselves to be real friends to me and hopefully me to them. Their big beef (or I think the biggest, if I'm not mistaken, closely followed by the political activism of groups like Exodus) is that orientation doesn't really change. I've never disagreed with my gay friends (and, as a further point of reference these three guys are openly Christian gay friends) about the fact that same sex attractions aren't likely to completely disappear. To me, it's like that scientific thing where you could keep splitting an atom infinitesimally and you're still going to end up with an itsy bitsy split atom.
Furthermore, when I said at the end of the Reparative Therapy post, that "it worked", I believe I can actually stand by that statement. At that time, it was working. As long as he (i hate to mention his name just because i'm afraid it makes him uncomfortable to keep talking about him and i'm trying to be sensitive to him) who will not be named was doing the things that guys do when they are in reparative therapy....our sex life was really awesome. It was. And I'm pretty certain he enjoyed it as well. Now, (my transparency is kicking in here big time) I can't tell you without a doubt that he wasn't secretly thinking of men or whatever he needed to think of during the time it was so great. But, nevertheless, it was. Call me crazy, but, it was really good to the point that I didn't care what he was thinking of. (sometimes i hate myself for being so transparent)
So, yeah, reparative therapy, done well, can work. Can it change people from gay to straight? Not so much. Can it provide hope, help, and healing (don't freak out on me for using that word) to a marriage....ABSOLUTELY. Can one person walk away from the whole thing and decide to be gay again. You bet.
Now, there may be those who have experienced complete and total freedom from unwanted attractions. I think that is incredible. I wish that would have been how our story played out. But it didn't.
And it's okay.
My biggest problem with he who will not be named has never been that he is gay or same sex attracted or whatever you want to call it. But, this blog has never been a forum for me to b*#ch about he who will not be named and I'm not about to start now. Well, I think I did do that just that once when it was 500 degrees and he needed to put the air conditioners in....but that sounds way more like something a straight guy would do, doesn't it??? haha!! :)
I feel better now. Been needing to get that out of my system.
love and grace,
View Current Blog