Tuesday, July 01, 2008


I've joined a dating site. Crazy, I know. But where in the heck are you supposed to meet available men when you live in Sulphur??? For that matter, even if I lived in OKC (the biggest city here which is still smaller than the 4th largest city in Texas)....even if I lived in freakin' DALLAS....where am I gonna meet available men? A bar? A mega-church? I don't think so. Those places appeal to me in about equal amounts although at least at the bar you can get a pina colada.

I started this post because I was on that site and thinking about the fact that I'm twice-divorced. And honestly, I think I should get a "by" on the 2nd one. I mean, really, does the 2nd one have to count? Come on, being married to Tdub was MORE than a marriage and so much more than a typical divorce. It was like a super-intense church camp on steroids sort of thing. Honestly. Think about it, because I am. *wink* I came out of it better, stronger, more full of grace, more focused on being Christ-like, and more prepared to face the next challenges life has to offer. I'm being completely serious and even though Tdub will probably have to pause before he can accept this as a compliment, I'm being complimentary of the entire thing. The fact that I feel more love for Tdub in more healthy ways than ever before is certainly a testament to the fact that it was ANYTHING but typical. When does THAT happen in a marriage/divorce situation? And so quickly?

Truly, my first marraige and divorce was SO typical. We married before we were "grown up" and as we grew up, we turned into people that were crazy to have ever married in the first place. We had kids because it seemed like that might help at the time (sorry...that's just what people DO...and we did it like so many others do it). Instead of submitting to the Lordship of Jesus and allowing him to heal our friendship, thus keeping our marriage together, we each behaved in ways that made things worse. The biggest difference between the two of us was that he looked like a jerk and I still looked like a poor, pitiful, put-upon wife. But, we were BOTH at fault for the fact that it ended and that our boys endured the pain and heartache of a broken home. This is the typical story of divorce. This one counts against me.

The thing with Tdub. Well. I have absolutley no regrets about it and, tough as it was, I'd do it all again, if for no other reason that the fact that I'd never have the relationship I have with Zach and Hayden otherwise. I love those boys. I love being their mom.

The point of all this rambling? I forget. Oh yeah. I'm on that dating site and it doesn't seem fair that I get "dinged" with two divorces. *sigh*

Later, I may gather up some of the more "interesting" (by that i mean hilarious in a way that makes you wonder what in the HECK they were thinking) profile entries and post them for your entertainment. If you're really bored and have an extra 20 bucks....some of the reading at these dating sites is pretty priceless. Or, you can just keep reading my blog and I'll show you the really good stuff. *heehee*

love and grace,

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Anonymous said...

This is the typical story of divorce. This one counts against me.

It does? I didn't realize we were keeping score. I'd certainly prefer not to. ;)

I totally hear you on the whole question of how to meet men. Back when I still lived in rural PA, I joined online dating sites for that same reason. I'm still on a couple, but I'm starting to shift back to hoping to meet someone in "real life" instead.

Also, as an amusing aside, when I decided to move away from rural PA to Western New York (belive it or not, it really is an improvement), one of my exact explanations to my mother was, "The only options for meeting people around here are the churches and the bars, and neither one really appeals to me."

-- Jarred.

Curlz said...

Praying God's best for you. Can you imagine? Think of your own children and what you would want for them. You have a Father who died for you - oh the love! Now imagine enjoying His best for you for the rest of your life!!

Now I pray that you will hear Him and recognize "the one". I mean, what if He has been pointing you in the right direction, or when He does - you say, "Creeeeepo, no way, never, not for me."

Now if only I could practice what I preach. ;}

Norm! said...

There's no shame in joining a dating website. Scott and I shared a church pew for three months before we happened to match our online personals profiles. Without online dating, we probably would have never known each other beyond church small talk -- which we both hate.

kurt_t said...

Personally, I think you need to look at your relationship history the way you look at your work history. Anything you don't want to explain in the interview, you should just leave out of your resume.

Robert said...

Hey Pam/Grace!

If there could be a silver lining around a divorce, you sure did find it. I'm with Kurt on this one -- keep the big "D" off the dating resume and disclose it when you see fit.

Big hugs your way!


Anonymous said...

Sounds like a better option that the bars, etc. Grace!
"This one counts against me."
You don't have to let it!!! :-)

Praying that God sends you the perfect guy!