Thursday, September 01, 2005

Boys, Cont...

3) Boys like other boys. This is a huge generalization. I realize that. But, I do have 4 of them and they are each VERY different and unique, so keep in mind that all of my generalizations are being made with the experience of watching 4 very different ones growing up. And, for the MOST part (not always but definitely more often than not) boys can figure out a way to be content, have fun, whatever, around other boys. Regardless of their interests, personalities, proclivities, looks, or EVEN athletic boys, each one, have at least casual friends of all different stripes. There is like a secret code of "boydom" that seems to supercede all other societal laws or norms. Maybe it IS a societal norm, I don't know. I swear, you could put any one of my four in a room with even the most "opposite of them" boy you could find and after 2 hours time they could come out saying "he's pretty cool". I'm not saying this sentiment would necessarily be permanent or long-lasting....but for that given amount of time, they'd find a way to connect based solely on the fact that they are BOYS.

4) Boys are more literal. For the typical boy, you don't really need a degree in psychology to figure out when there's some sort of problem. You don't have to wonder if maybe there's a problem, or, is this just "how boys are" like I seem to hear (and see in my teaching experience) with girls. Boys tend to act out in ways that are more visible to the naked eye. Two of our four are much more manipulative and inward as a general rule, but even THEY leave signs that may as well be plastered in neon letters across billboards alerting us to the fact that they are struggling in some way. It looks like to me (from what I've experienced) that boys don't multi-task as effortlessly as girls do...and so....things fall apart or get disrupted more quickly with them when there's "something afoot" emotionally.

5) Boys find girls to be mysterious, odd, and even spooky at times. I love this. This has been of great pleasure to me because my boys have all come to an age where they've actually figured out that I am a GIRL. So....I have some knowledge, some insight, some bits of wisdom, which might help them operate more successfully around these mysterious creatures. I love this. It's not like they come and actually ASK for my advice (very uncool). However, they will say particular things to me about their interactions with girls and then listen very closely to what I have to say in response. It's awesome.

6) My boys encourage me to be ME. This may not apply to all boys....none of this may, actually, since it's just based on my personal particular boys are very supportive of anything I do that's seperate from them and defines me outside of being their mom. When I spend time doing things outside their scope of art, my friends, women's church activities, writing this blog....anything....they are SO encouraging. I'm not sure why they do it because I've not gone about teaching them this. But they support and encourage me in any and everything that I might attempt to do. They are just so awesome that way. That may not be a "boy" thing. Hopefully it's not because it's my very favorite thing about them and I hope that mothers of girls are not getting short changed in this area. Surely not.


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