Monday, August 08, 2005

Countdown to College

Pretty much EVERYONE I come in contact with wants to know the same thing. "Are you ready?"

I always know exactly what they are talking about. We'll fly our oldest through time and distance to his new world at college in less than two weeks. I think the fact that the school is so far from home is making it harder for people to grasp. I'm pretty sure(at this point) that most parents just can't stand the thought of it for their own chilrdren. Some act like we're just plain nuts. And they all seem to think I'm going to fall completely apart when it gets right down to it.

Who knows, maybe I will. I do feel sorry for the person who has to sit next to me on the plane ride home. I'll be alone because my husband is staying (in that state) for a few days on a business trip that happens to be a drive away. If I think very hard about it I could go ahead and start crying right now....but....I can't ever really do that because the younger three keep opening and closing the door to my room needing things...and so...getting a good cry on is just not something I've time to do at the moment.

Mostly, I'm just happy for him. No doubt, having an 18 yr. old leaving for college is a womp-up-side-the-head sort of experience. Here is this great big lump of parenting joy, triumph, angst and woe, just standing there in torn shorts, faded t-shirt, wakeskater shoes, sporting a tanned and awfully man-looking torso, a killer smile, and long hair that by golly will get at least trimmed up a bit before I get on that plane with him! I look at him and think of the words of Eve at the birth of Cain "With the help of the Lord, I have brought forth a man." Unbelievable.

Honestly, I think I'll be fine leaving him out there. I want him to make his own choices about who he is and how he will operate in this world. Of course I want those choices to be good ones....but I fully expect him to make a few bad ones along the way. I know I sure did. Still do sometimes. But the truth of the matter is, he never really did belong to me in the first place. God just blessed me with him to raise and to do it in such a way that he would be introduced to Him and the beauty of His kingdom. What he does with that is up to him.

I love him so much.


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