Friday, November 17, 2006

Odd Predicament

How is it that I can easily write this blog and share all this stuff....with tons of people, an indefinite number, actually....

and yet....

I could possibly meet someone that I'm scared to death of seeing it?

More details later.....

Any thoughts?

love and grace,
pam


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9 comments:

Jay said...

I know where you're coming from. If my blog ever disappears, it's because one of my family members has seen it. Not that that's what I think you're talking about, but I see where you're coming from.

Anonymous said...

Or you could meet someone who would like you even more after seeing your blog.

Who do you think (or should I say "Who do you care about"?) will be surprised by the Willful Grace side of Pam?*

*I hope I'm not sounding too cold/analytical - this is a question I often ask myself.

grace said...

Jay: I'm glad you can relate...read my response to Joe and see if that makes sense to you as well.

Joe: It's not about them seeing the "willful grace" side of Pam....that IS Pam. It's about them rejecting Pam based on the fact that this is who she really is. Does that make sense?

love you guys!
pam

Robert said...

It's a paradox. I think it has something to do with the writing process. Although we temper our words more when we write, some of us are willing to communicate more in written words than we are orally. Yes, someone may "look into the diary," but the benefits of self-reflection seem to outweigh the risk for many.

For example, I am now self-reflecting that the words I just wrote seem as if they popped out of a Depak Chopra book. I am both amazed, and a little unnerved. ;-D

grace said...

Robert: I have LITERALLY laughed out loud at my computer in a while....thanks for that! Darn it, why are the funny and insightful ones always gay????? ;)

I've been thinking a bit more about this (big surprise)...I also think (and what you said is very true, i do the same thing at times)...but...I know that anyone can read this, ultimately...and I'm okay with that. Come what may and all that jazz, ya know? But...I'm specifically talking about someone I've JUST met, or may meet, and getting to know them, hoping they won't get to this part and go "whoa, hold on here". It's that sort of thing.
I'll write about it later...but it will be a few days or a week before I do.

Thanks for the big laugh this morning!
pam

grace said...

Robert...I mean't HAVEN'T laughed out loud...

Peterson Toscano said...

Pam--the blogger formerly known as Grace--The blogging process amazes me as we write, visit other blogs, field comments, fret over comments, respond, write some more. We grow, we change, we build relationships with the OTHER and she becomes a sister and a friend.

Sounds like you are coming out as Pam. The coming out process is not exclusively gay (we simply get to model it for all y'all).

It's scary to come out, take down the masks, show the deeper layers. And someone reading all that can discover aspects of us that might scare them away.

But I'd rather they run away from the real me instead of embracing a masked version..

I apprecate the risks you take. Integrity has its own rewards.
Peterson

Brady said...

I see your point, Grace, that's why I still keep mine anonymous. I'm not sure if I will ever have the "blog courage" that you have
;-)

grace said...

Peterson: You are very astute! ;)
I was going to compare it to "coming out" myself, but thought better of it in case it seemed offensive. But, clearly, you get it. As usual.

Brady: Now see, looking at it from someone else's point...I'd say to you..."if they don't accept the real you then, so be it, you're awesome and you shoudln't worry about that"...but...that's just advice I'd give to someone else, you see? ;)