Reparative Therapy

I'm not sure this is EXACTLY the sort of therapy my husband has been involved with....but it's a the very least a cousin of it and probably more like a fraternal twin or something. It's close enough to just go ahead and call it reparative therapy. I hesitate to give it that name outright because 1)our therapist has never used that term with us 2)he's not a typical therapist (reparative or otherwise). But...for the sake of this writing I'll call it reparative therapy and move on.

Here's what's on my mind.

I got into a conversation with some folks over at Ex-Gay Watch a few weeks ago about the movie.(Actually, it was a review of the movie.) There it is if you want to read it. I found my conversation there to be cordial and enlightening, for me at least, and I was pleased that I'd engaged. I felt accepted and valued as a person with an opinion. Imagine that....we could all take a lesson from it. If the mood so strikes me I will comment there again. The thing that I feel compelled to talk about here, on my blog, after having spent some time reading posts and comments on that blog is reparative therapy.

There are a great number of gays who've tried reparative therapy but it didn't work for them. For whatever reason. It's not my place to judge why it works for some and not others. My point is this. Sometimes it DOES work. I understand that on a site like Ex-Gay Watch there's going to be an over-whelming number represented for which it didn't work, possibly caused pain, and left the person in depression over the fact that they were still gay. Basically, for those folks, they see it as a huge stumbling block toward their goal of accepting themselves and embracing their sexual identity. I get that.

But, the fact remains that there are those, like my husband, for whom reparative therapy worked. Being careful not to offend anyone's sensibilities here (this is, after all, a sexual issue) but our marriage has gone from nada in the way of sexual intimacy/fulfillment to mucho bueno. Sure, he could have accepted himself as gay and gone on to those pastures, but he didn't choose that path. He chose this one. The next part of this debate naturally always turns to "what does change look like?" What if he's still attracted to men somewhat....eventually he's going to "fall off the wagon" and you'll find him in gay bar looking for the life he's always dreamed about. So what if he is?(still somewhat attracted) So what if that does happen?(return to gaydom) What then? Nothing, that's what. Life goes on. God will pick us both up, piece by broken piece, and heal us. Heaven forbid it ever come to that....but...come what may, we're in.

For us, it's not really about reparative therapy at all (even though it is). It's about a life of faith in Christ to redeem and restore us to our rightful place in the kingdom He created for us in the beginning. Reparative therapy has, no doubt, contributed a critical piece to the making of the wholeness that is US as a married couple. It worked.

grace





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Sunday Lesson

Our lesson/sermon today was short and sweet. He talked about the prodigal son a little bit but in a different line of thinking than we usually go with it. He didn't really focus on the story at all but rather what had to have preceded the story. The son's heart left home long before he did. And this is true of all of us. We don't just up and decide one day, "hey, i think i'll go out and totally ruin my life." Our heart has probably not been in it for some time at the point at which we do drastic things. We "check out" so to speak. And so, the question is, in regards to making big changes or doing things differently, "where is my heart?" It could be that changing and doing things differently is exactly what God is calling me to do. Or, if my heart is not focused on Him, it could be that I'm being selfish and following my own desires. It always comes back to this. Where is my focus? What are my motives? Who is controlling my heart?

grace



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Movie Review

Chad Thompson went to see "Brokeback Mountain".

My favorite part is not about the movie at all but where he talks about us believing that God is who He says He is. I'll never forget one of my dearest (still) friends talking to me not long after the bottom fell out for me in my marriage. She was speaking out of complete love for me and a desire to shield me from any further possible pain when she said...."People don't ever really change." My response, even then, was, "Then what's God for?" It seems to me that none of us can come into personal relationship with the creator of the universe and remain unchanged. What sort of God would He be if that were the case? I believe the change is as individual as we are....but change occurs nonetheless. I'm still certain I don't need to see this movie at this point. I've read many reviews of it but this one sounds closest to what I imagine I'd come away with if I did see it.

grace



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The Joy of Teaching

At least one thing happens every day at school that makes me joyful about teaching. Some days, like today, it's something so memorable that I'll never forget it.

This 5th grade kid (a new move-in this year) totally made my day. I'll call him Dylan. When Dylan first arrived he really got under my skin. To be honest, I could hardly stand the kid. He's a little bitty thing with a loud nasal-sounding voice and the thickest most hickish accent you could possibly imagine. Just totally annoying. He'd blurt out in the middle of my teach or raise his hand and then ask a question about something totally unrelated like the make and model of the truck outside the window. Just a kid beggin' a teacher to get all in the middle of him.

Really good teachers know EXACTLY what a kid like Dylan needs. But, you sometimes have to take great deep breaths and fake yourself into acting like you care before you can get to the point of doing what's best for a kid. Which I usually always do. I'm not going to lie and say I'm a perfect teacher. But with Dylan, at least, I did the right thing. I began to establish a personal relationship with him. I'd check on him now and then and compliment his efforts, then stop at his table and chat about whatever he happened to be talking about as he worked. He's always talking so he made this process very easy. Some don't. Over about a months time, (they only visit my art class every 3rd day) I'd established a really nice rapport with Dylan and I actually began to look forward to seeing him and wondering what funny comment he might come up with next. There'd even be entire class periods when I hardly noticed him. This is a GOOD thing, if that makes sense.

Today, we were working on posters for a Sons of the American Revolution Contest and Dylan comes up to show me the latest item he'd completed to put on his poster. It was a piece of paper, crumpled and dirty looking with a few red dots here and there, some writing, and what looked like wet spots. He read it to me. He'd created a fake letter of a soldier at Valley Forge writing home to his family. Then he continued, "See, I put these red marks on here because he was dripping a little blood and I rubbed it on the floor to make it a little dirty. Then, I thought of the saddest experience I've had in my entire life and let my tears fall on it." As I looked more closely at him I could see that he had indeed been crying. It was such a sweet moment. I complimented him, of course, and told him how pleased I was that he'd go to so much trouble to make it look authentic. I hesitated to do so, but then I went ahead and asked him what his saddest experience had been. His eyes welled up a little more and he said, "My Grandmother passed away last year."

I always wonder if the "great cloud of witnesses" we are surrounded by could be those who've gone before. I'm certainly not a theologian so I'm just blindly guessing. If it IS, then I hope Dylan's grandmother was filled with as much joy as I was by his actions today.

grace




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Submission

It seems the crux of my walk with Christ stays tied up in my choice to submit. I must lay aside my desires and submit to His will. Over and over again. Sometimes it really stinks, but it always brings me to a place of peace and rest....once I get past MYSELF and just SUBMIT.

We talked about the terrifically difficult things Jesus called others to do in order to follow him this morning in our Bible class. He expected one guy to forget about going home to bury his father, another to give all his money away to the poor, and yet another to "hate his mother and father". Basically, he was telling them they had to completely and totally submit to Him and the will of the Father. It might be that the Father's will would be for those people to actually have and do all those things he was asking them to forgo....but...they had to be willing to give it ALL up for Him. None of the people in those examples were able to follow because they wouldn't take the necessary risks involved in submitting to Christ.

There's only one guarantee....and it's really the only one that matters. By submitting to Him I'm guaranteed a part in the kingdom of God. I'm guaranteed that I have a part in bringing about the age to come....HIS Kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven. I can start living my eternity right now.

The tough thing about submission is the little daily struggles. It's so difficult to submit when things aren't particularly going my way, or, I'm just in a foul mood and don't want to be bothered. Tom Williams put it so perfectly today in Bible class by using an example from the South African Missionary Livingstone and the reporter who went looking for him, Stanley. He said that Stanley asked Livingstone, "How did you survive there in the jungle amidst all the lions and tigers?" Livingstone's reply was, "It wasn't the lions and tigers that bothered us, it was the gnats."

So true. Time to face another week full of "gnats".

grace







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Hallelujah

Son #1 got his hair cut!!!!!! I think I may actually be able to tolerate him again. I've been in a real funk over him all week. Even though I'm convinced that this will be a productive and necessary sort of growing up time for him....it just stinks to me that he's HERE. Last night he and a buddy were in the kitchen making some sort of contraption to shoot a rubber ball across the room by completely destroying an old advil container, an ink pen, and a butane lighter. These are the sorts of things he should be doing in a boys' dorm so that we don't have to witness it or ever know it happened. *sigh* He did start classes this week. Came home the first day complaining that it reminded him of high school. The term "biting my tongue" does not convey a tenth of the fortitude it took me not to jump right in the middle of that complaint. I just politely said, "well good" and walked away. Sometimes that's the best thing to do....at least I think it is. Who knows at this point. Don't get me wrong....I'm doing a fine job, actually, of being supportive and pleasant with him. He doesn't avoid me or anything, which he would, if I expressed my every thought to him. He knows he screwed up, I don't feel like I have to remind him of it at every opportunity and it's not as if I've never made mistakes. I'm learning that this scenario happens quite frequently with kids his age. It's happened to many people I know but they've just not talked about it. I guess the most difficult thing for me is finding the balance between limits and freedom for him. At this point, the rules are, the weekends are yours, the week days are mine. Gotta be in this house (or at his dad's) by at LEAST midnight every night. This is a very challenging time for me parentally.

grace



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Gay People

I love gay people.

I am NOT a fag hag. Let's just get that little distinction out of the way right quick. If you have no idea what I'm talking about then just ignore this little paragraph of this post. ;) Thanks.

For some reason beyond my comprehension, understanding, whatever you want to call it....I have an extra (or A measure as the case may be) of empathy and compassion for those who "struggle" with being attracted to the same sex. Now....I understand that those of you who read this blog and are affirmed as gay have a problem with me calling you "strugglers". I do get that. And yet, I continue to use that term and none of you so far have given me a great deal of grief over it. I think it's because you've come to understand where I'm coming from when I use that word. I think it's because you've established a sort of relationship with me, having read this blog, and so you accept what I say when I say "struggler" the same as I accept what those of you who are gay and comment say when you talk about being bisexual or gay Christian. The various words above may strike dissonate chords for you or me as the case may be and yet, we choose to dialogue in a spirit of mutual respect and admiration for each other as individuals. Those of us who are seeking truth from God will find that truth eventually. Here or there....it will happen.

*note..i'm not saying you can or cannot identify yourself as gay and/or christian and make it to heaven....i absolutely do not know the answer to that question...thank GOD...it's up to Him...not me. read the sheep and the goats scripture...it's pretty clear right there that WE don't decide and the decision is certainly not made based on OUR standards."*

Matthew25:
37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'

44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'

45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'

46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

Why am I writing this? Good question. I don't know. That's another thing I'm willing to admit and post right out loud on this blog. I just don't KNOW. I don't know everything. And I don't think any of you do either. I agree with some of you more than others and appreciate the affirmation you give as well as the thought-provoking comments of those of you who don't agree with what I have to offer.

That's all for now!

grace





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*yuck*

Sometimes it just majorly sucks to be grown up....doesn't it? more later....
talk or rant amongst yourselves...
grace



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#2 Narnia Class

The class was excellent again tonight. We covered the 2nd chapter of Tom's book which is about how God's nature (specifically Christ) is revealed through the character of Aslan.

My favorite quote about God was key to the lesson.

Lucy: Then is He safe?

Mr. Beaver: Safe! Who said anything about safe? Of course he isn't safe, but he's good.

In the book the analogy is used where theology (learning ABOUT God) is compared to a map of the ocean while the ocean itself represents God. You can study the map of the ocean and know it by heart, but until you actually encounter the ocean and set to sea upon it, you'll never really KNOW it. In the same way, while theology is not a bad thing, indeed it is a desired aspect of religion, it is our encounters with God himself that truly affect our relationship and our KNOWLEDGE of him.

This is why Aslan is so appealing as a representation of God/Christ. In this fictional character we are able to get a more "realistic" picture of what God might be like as he relates to us in our day-to-day existence. He is at once terrible and gentle, fierce and kind, stern and loving.

Aslan does not cater to the children's whims and desires for happiness and comfort. He expects them to complete difficult tasks and makes no apologies for doing so. He does not placate them by excusing their misdeeds. Rather, he accepts their apologies forthright, forgives them, and moves them on ahead still expecting nothing but their best efforts and total devotion. Their happiness is second to their long-term well-being. If going through struggles will ultimately serve them well, making them stronger, better, wiser, or more reliant on him, then so be it. This mirrors God's dealings with us.

It was a great class. I am now 2 chapters ahead in reading it and will probably have it finished before next week. I reccommended it before I'd actually read it...but now...I'm telling you firsthand....it's a GREAT book!

grace



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MLK

I realize too late now that I should have saved this story for today. Oh well.

Before I became an art teacher I taught 1st and 2nd grades for 14 years. My favorite was 2nd grade. The things I miss most about teaching at that level are the after lunch chapter book reading (that's where the kids gathered round my feet and I'd read a chapter or two from a children's novel) and teaching social studies. Martin Luther King was one of my favorite topics to cover with 2nd graders. They'd get so upset and utterly appalled at the things I'd tell them about like seperate drinking fountains, restaurants, swimming pools, and even schools. I'd show them the TV movie that was made about Ruby Bridges and we'd learn about Rosa Parks and the church bombings in Birmingham. I miss revisiting those history lessons and answering the profound sorts of questions that 2nd graders can ask when learning of those atrocities for the very first time. I've actually been considering going back into the regular classroom lately, IF I could get a 2nd grade spot. We'll see.

grace


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Sabbatical

I was thinking about taking a blog sabbatical....I'd heard about doing such a thing...but...now that I see what one looks like....I just don't think I have the time for it! (you were just askin' for this Randy)


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Youth Group

Our house is full of teenagers as I write. I can hear them in the other room; laughing, talking, one-upping each other....it's great.

Typically they have devos on Sunday nights but our youth minister is out of town this weekend. Tomorrow is a holiday for them and about 8 of them bombarded Tdub and I after Bible class this morning wanting to know why there was no devo tonight. (We often take his place and do the devos when he's gone.) We told them we had no idea and they just stood there....as if we were supposed to keep talking. Finally, Tdub said something like, "Do ya'll WANT to have a devo tonight?" That's all it took. They all chorused..."yeah, let's have it at ya'lls house!" This had obviously been pre-planned during their Bible class.

And so....a full crock pot of queso, two large bags of chips, 50 taquitos, many liters of soft drink and a tub of cookie dough later...here we are. Just hangin' out and enjoying their company. Except that I'm in here writing this. ;) Better get back to it.

grace




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Movie

We saw "Glory Road" tonight. We all loved it and as usual after seeing a fact-based movie I had to come home and read everything I could find on the internet about the real live people. It was quite a bit like "Remember the Titans" which is one of my all-time favorite movies. I still like RtT better as an under-dog, pulling together, overcoming obstacles type story. And the music is better in RtT.

Tdub and I are both just blown away at the henious racism that has existed in our lifetime. We talked afterwards about how neither of us have any comprehension of that sort of ignorance and hatred. It's just completely stupid to the point of bizarre to us. I even caught myself gasping at some of the statements that were made in the film and yet that's the culture we were raised in.

It's been all basketball, all day here. Six games amongst 3 boys and then a basketball movie. I need a good long beauty day at a nice spa somewhere. Like that's gonnna happen!

OH...get this....here's a pretty good indication of the fact that I have #1's attention on "getting your act together" this semester. With no prompting from me whatsoever, on our car ride to the junior college yesterday, he gets on his cel phone and calls to make an appointment to get his hair cut! I've got to stay on top of this situation.

grace


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Update on #1

Ok....my wailing and gnashing of teeth phase is over for the time being. He and I had a good talk on our 30 min. drive to the junior college and back to get him enrolled. I'm not ready to detail any of it. May never detail it. Suffice it to say that this period of time is critical to his future and I'm aware of it. I've got to set some boundaries and stick with them for his sake.

I've processed through what I believe to have been my downfall in all of this. In many ways he's been a victim of my circumstances and basically I feel I've believed he had qualities or the ability to gain qualities that he never had or had any hope of gaining without more structure than I provided. And yet, I look back and see all that's transpired in the past 5 years and can't imagine how a great deal of it could have played out any differently.

But...here we are...and from here we will continue and move forward. By the grace of God, as always.

grace


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How Low Can He Go

I'm struggling tonight. Been weeping off and on all afternoon. I feel so stupid.

You see.....this 18-yr.-old of mine has completely disappointed me for the very first time. I mean, I've been slightly disappointed by him before, but never so completely. For some stupid reason, which boils down to the general "busy-ness" of this household, I'd never actually seen a copy of his grades from Pepperdine for the fall semester. I'd known he was struggling to pass one class for sure and I knew it was difficult for him in general but I trusted him that he was keeping up and holding his own. NOPE. He wasn't. It seems the boy failed not one but two classes and did barely better in the rest. And so....now we find ourselves entering a semester of community-type college to get the grades up to the point that he can go on with a regular university education. *big sigh*

There's just this huge part of me.....ME.....that feels like such a failure right now. I fear I haven't pushed him hard enough or had nearly high enough expectations for him. In my carefulness to respect his desires and let him figure things out for himself....I think I've overdone it and allowed him so much freedom that he's just drifted off rudderless. I mean, he's slightly upset...but not just completely bummed about it. I cried a little when I found out and he hugged me then asked, "what do i do now?" Not in an ugly or defensive way. More like a kid just asking matter-of-factly what the next step is after this. We were all set to take the 2hr. drive out to Abilene to get him set up out there tomorrow....and then the Pepperdine transcript arrived....and BOOM. The deal's off.

I really hate this. I know it's good for me to write this down and get it off my chest. I'm completely sobbing at this point....yuck!

Any encouragement would be appreciated....OH....and prayers.

grace






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1st Class on Narnia

We had our introductory class with Tom Williams last night, about the book
href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0849904889/ref=pd_ecc_rvi_1/102-2986034-7535343?%5Fencoding=UTF8">"The Heart of the Chronicles of Narnia" that I wrote about a few days ago. I've got my own copy of the book now as well as a little companion book called href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0849904943/ref=pd_ecc_rvi_2/102-2986034-7535343?%5Fencoding=UTF8">"Knowing Aslan". Tom was eager (but asked Faye's permission, so cute!) to tell Tdub and I after class that the little companion book is the #2 seller on a Christian Book List of some sort this week. It's being purchased in bulk by churches who are giving it away as a way to introduce non-believers to God.

Tonight's class was basically an overview of what the class will be about. It's not specific to "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" but will cover all things Narnia. Our particular faith tradition has been guilty of over-looking the story, romance, and beauty contained in the Bible and carried out through God's relationship with us. Tom told us that C.S. Lewis said that while reason and logic are required to convey truth, imagination must be involved to convey meaning. Tom wholeheartedly agrees and explained quite eloquently why the Narnia books have sold over 100 million copies. They tell a story that conveys a meaning we relate to because they mirror God's truth. However, it was important to C.S. Lewis that the books be read for pleasure. He wrote the books first and foremost as stories to be enjoyed, but his Christianity naturally pushed itself into them because being Christian was vital to his identity. Lewis believed that we should all use our gifts and talents as God gave them to us, and because we are Christian, God will turn whatever we do into a sort of ministry. We don't have to overtly go about trying to do separate "Christian" things. For me, as a teacher, that says that even though I don't (in public school) teach Christianity, the students I come in contact with each day should have had a "Christian" experience just from being in my presence.

Here's a Lewis quote from the preface:

"I never wrote down to anyone; . . . it certainly is my opinion that a book worth reading only in childhood is not worth reading even then. The inhibitions which I hoped my stories would overcome in a child's mind may exist in a grown-up's mind too, and may perhaps be overcome by the same means."

grace

Nothing in Particular

I'm very thankful to Jim for helping me with think through some things regarding speaking my beliefs and communicating in a Christ-like spirit of love. In some ways, it's easy for me because I don't consider myself an "expert" on much of anything. I'm just a regular person who's been through some pretty irregular experiences and relied on God to see me through. Still do, for that matter.

I surf around and read all sorts of bloggers, many of them Christian, who write about theological issues like cessation, Calvinism, and reformed vs. charistmatic theology. One thought keeps occurring to me; Where do they find the time? :)
Well, that and HOW can Christians be so ugly to one another?

In other news: Tdub is seriously considering starting his own blog. It won't be an "ex-gay" blog per se. Although I imagine he might at times hit on some of that sort of thing. He just needs an outlet for writing his thoughts and of course I'm very much encouraging him to DO IT! I'll let you know right away if he does....I'll have my first "blog baby"!

Our weekends have taken a sharp turn for the "worse" in the way of TOO MANY GAMES. The new basketball season is well under way. #2 plays on the freshman team at high school while #3 and #4 each play on two teams. (one regular league and one prime league) Most Saturdays involve at least 5 games for us, starting early and ending late. This Saturday we have games at 11:00, 12:00, 3:00(2), and 6:00. The good news is...we get to sleep in...woo hoo! Last Saturday we started at 8:30a.m. and didn't finish until 7:30p.m. (and in a town 30 miles from here). Good times. But I'll not complain. They're fun to watch and I know we are blessed to have healthy and happy children who are active and excited about participating. I've learned my lesson with #1. They DO grow up eventually. (at least I'm pretty sure they do!) hehe!

grace




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More on Narnia

Randy gave me the great idea to post about my friend Thomas Williams who wrote "The Heart of the Chronicles of Narnia; Knowing God Here by Finding Him There."

Tom is such a wise and wonderful person, as is his wife, Faye. We are privileged to go to church with them and he is one of the few people with whom Tdub has confided his struggles and relies on for mentoring and just general "fatherly" type support. He is a retired art director for Word Publishing and knew C.S. Lewis personally. He even did a portrait of him for Word to use in his (Lewis') books and there's a photo in one of them that pictures Faye walking in the distance. Cool stuff. The wonderful thing about Tom is that even though you know you are speaking to someone of great knowledge and wisdom, you feel like you're talking to an ordinary person. He has a wonderful presence that makes you feel affirmed and your thoughts valued. Maybe it's just me. But, I don't think so. He's just a very Godly man and he puts you at ease.

I did have the chance to talk with him about The Movie last Wednesday night. To give you an idea of what sort of wonderful person he is, he approached US to ask what we thought and if there were things that bothered us that were different from the book. Mind you, this man can recite Lewis from cover-to-cover and has spent literally YEARS in study of the man and his writings. And yet, he asks for our opinions and looks at us eagerly as if we are about to tell him something he hasn't already thought about.

We rambled on for a bit and then I said, "I really want to know what YOU think of the movie!" He was proud of himself for having seen it three times to our two and then proceeded to tell us about the most disappointing part for him. He talked about how in the book, after the resurrection of Aslan, there's a good deal of celebration between Aslan, Susan, and Lucy. They romp, run, roll in the grass, and just play for a while, and all the while the big battle is about to begin. Tom found this scene so important that he dedicated an entire chapter of his book to it. And yet, the movie leaves it off. He said he understood that it wasn't vital to the advancement of the story, but he finds it significant to the nature of Aslan and the way he mirrors God's relationship with us.

I haven't read Tom's book yet. He's going to be teaching Wednesday night classes using it for the next several weeks at our church so I'm going to read it in conjunction with that. Can't wait.

grace

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Perfect vs. Sinless

My whole life growing up I heard the statement. "No one is perfect, except one person. Jesus was the only perfect person who ever lived."

I've been thinking lately about how the statements I grew up with, those things repeated to me over and over, have become a part of my the thinking patterns I have which may be just plain WRONG. I mean, was Jesus PERFECT? He was sinless. But does being sinless mean you are PERFECT? I guess this is important to me because of trying to reconcile being God and Man and in growing spiritually and hopefully becoming more Christ-like, does that mean I'm becoming more perfect, less sinful, or something else entirely?

I posed this question to one of my very best deep-thinking and theologically trained (as in degreed) friends today and received his very quick and off-the-cuff response. I qualify his response to let you know this is what he came back with in a matter of probably 2 to 5 minutes. So keep that in mind...even though I think it's great.


Did Jesus ever make a mistake? Consider Luke 2:41-51

One could also argue that Jesus could not have been perfect.
Obviously his body changed after the resurrection. If the old one was
perfect, then why did he get a new one?

I would say no one can be perfect as long as they live on earth. I
would say that even Jesus was not perfect on earth. No one can be
sinless either. However, Jesus was sinless in his imperfect state
(even more remarkable when you think about it).

Food for thought...for me, at least.

grace



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Fanatics

There's this lady who keeps ranting on over at Ben's site.(it's the 7th commenter in his current post about lust) She's just nuts. Her preacher dad has convinced her that only 144,000 people are going to make it to heaven and that she has to be a virgin to be one of them. Furthermore, it's part of her "duty" in the kingdom to go around calling out other sinners and basically provoking the whole world even though from what I can tell it sounds like we're all damned to hell in the first place. I don't get that.

What do you do with people like that?

grace



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Conversation with #4

It seems like I talk alot about #4 on here....but the kid is just one of those who keeps you wondering, "just where does he come up with this stuff?". Anyway, the latest conversation is one I want to always remember.

#4: Mom, one of my main goals for my life is to have a best friend who's black.

Me: That's cool. It's too bad there aren't more black kids in our school.

#4: Yeah. I just think black guys are so cool. And mom, I know I can't have one...but if I could have a black baby I'd love to name it Jamal. I love that name. It's such a cool name.

Me: Well, there ARE ways you could have a black baby, you know? And even if you didn't, you could name any baby Jamal if you like that name.

#4: I couldn't name a white baby Jamal!!

Me: Well, yeah...you could.

(he sits there thinking about that)

Me: Think about it....the kid grows up, the white kid named Jamal....and every time he goes for a job interview they're going to be expecting a black guy...and then your son walks in. It would be great. It would make him really special and stand out.

#4: (smiling this mischevious little smile) Yeah...that would be kinda cool.

Now...we are not racist. Not in the least. The plain fact of the matter is there are very few blacks in this community. We happen to be friends with most of the ones who live here. And I can't WAIT to tell them about this conversation...they will LOVE it. Later on, I'll talk to him about the fact that he COULD end up marrying a black girl and then get a black baby. Or adopt one. Or not. Just whatever. I gotta run. Just had to get that down before I left this morning.

grace




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Back To School

Some genius decided that our school should start back from Christmas vacation TODAY! Which means I am completely wiped out and wondering how I ever manage to hold down a job and take care of the family as well as I do. And they don't even require all that much "care" anymore. As long as I throw a few decent meals their way at least 3 nights a week, run everyone to and from their appointed practices, and make sure the latest knee, arm or ankle injury is not a serious one....they pretty much care for themselves. Well, with repeated directions sometimes escalating into yells they do.

Sons #2 and #3 made it back safely from Florida on New Year's Eve night. Things seem to have gone really well there and yet they are happy and content to be back home with us. Answered prayers all the way around on that deal. #4 was so happy to see them that he even made the trip (one-hour of tdub driving time) to the airport with us to pick them up. #1 got bored enough today that he and another buddy acutally picked them up from school this afternoon and took them to play football for a while.

Tdub had the day OFF! Which made our going in even worse! I'm still ticked about it. :) Oh well. He did manage to clean up this super humongous pile of....of....well...just his JUNK which is mostly mail and receipts and stuff that we'll never need but that he thinks he needs to save for some stupid reason. But he cleaned it! The kitchen counter space practically doubled on that wall.

This is a pretty lame post, huh? But I'm tired.

OH...I found this funny....at #2's junior high school today...he went from class to class watching the Cotton Bowl. Seems they have just too many Red Raiders at that school to let the day interfere wtih what SHOULD have been our holiday. I love that. I know they've got just as many Longhorns over there...can't wait to see how they deal with Wednesday's Rose Bowl. (or is that one at night? i'm such a football fanatic) ;)

grace



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