I can't convey to you how much I wish I had something cute and funny to write about.
But I don't.
What do you do with an 18 (almost 19) yr.-old son who is sexually active with his teenage girlfriend? I'll let you know when I figure it out. We're having a sit-down talk this afternoon.
Oh.....and this whole thing was precluded by a father (his father) who about a year ago told him he thought it would be better if he had sexual experience with girls before marriage. I'm not sure what quality or virtue was working in him (the father, my ex-husband) when he called me up later to let me know that this was the advice he'd just given our son. He stated that he thought he'd better let me know since he knew I wouldn't agree with the advice. I replied, "well....thanks," and got off the phone as quickly as I could before running my car off the road and into a ditch. He's lucky I didn't drive it straight to his place of business and ram right through the front glass window. I did speak to my son about the advice his father had given him and he assured me, at that time, that he had no intention of becoming sexually active. I told him then, "You know, it's going to be very difficult, when you do find yourself in a certain situation at some point, not to take your dad's advice. I'm afraid the things I'm telling you now are not going to be the over-riding voice that's playing in your head at that time." I was right.
So. Pray that I'll have wisdom. I love my son with my whole being. I'm sad that we're having this talk and yet I feel I must discuss these things with him. His girlfriend is coming too. My love for her is also intense and I hurt for her that she's given herself away to my son this way. And yet, I know it's very common.
The question I'm asking myself now is "What do you hope to accomplish by having such a conversation with them?" Realistically, I can't make them stop having sex. And yet, hopefully I can give them a more realistic grasp of the gravity of their actions as it could and does affect their future, with or without each other. They have crossed a line that isn't easily redrawn. I also hope to show them what it looks like to love one another even when the choices of your loved ones don't line up with God's plan. And maybe give them some strategies for holding themselves accountable should they decide to reclaim the purity of their relationship.
It's been a 48 hrs. The fact that I even know all of this is due to some things that my son did which completely destroyed any trust her parents may have had in him. But they are being very gracious, considering the circumstances.
Just pray for me.
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