Sunday, April 22, 2007

Brotherhood

The good news is, despite the divorce, the four boys continue to function as brothers.

The bad news: while Mom is out of town, teen-age boys tend to be teen-age boys.

All four of them are teenagers at this particular moment in time. This will continue to be official until the middle of June when Daniel turns 20. Drew turned 13 about four weeks ago. While I was out-of-town Friday night, Daniel assisted #2, who'd turned 16 that day, by "hosting" an impromptu party for his brother here at my apartment. I'm positive it was the sort of party that wouldn't have occurred if I'd been home. They did a relatively decent job of cleaning up. In fact, they cleaned up so well, I'm even more suspicious about the sorts of things that must have occurred. The most obvious and negative after-effect left behind from the party is the faint smell of smoke hovering in the air. Of course, according to the boys, none of them were smoking. I'm supposed to believe that. Whatever. Drew wasn't actually here during the party. He'd have been on the phone, calling either me or 911 if he'd been here, which is the reason he wasn't invited, I'm sure.

In spite of the lingering smoke odor and the mysterious mound of wet towels in the laundry basket, I've encountered one very positive outcome from the imagined free-for-all that occurred here Friday night. The refrigerator was entirely void of food. And drink for that matter. I was able to give the fridge a good wiping down before going to the store to restock. Typically, I'd have to spend a good 45 minutes cleaning out the old food and emptying containers into the trash. Not so today. It was ALL gone: every last rubbermade container of mystery leftover, all the little-bit-left bags of grated cheese, the corn tortillas that didn't make it into enchilada casserole, even the 1/4 stick of butter I didn't need for last week's cherry cobbler. Gone. The fridge looked like a swarm of locusts wearing tiny little locust sweaters had swept through its interior.

I'm relieved and comforted by the fact that the boys learned how to be brothers during the time Tdub and I were married. I'm particularly proud of Daniel, as the oldest, for making the efforts he's making now to be a big brother who calls the younger boys, checks on them, and basically has initiated the continuity in the relationship they all have with one another. I'm reminded, again, that good things emerge from bad. As a follower of Christ I give him the credit, for all of it. Even when there's a lingering smoke-like odor. *sigh*

love and grace,
pam

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8 comments:

Norm! said...

Wow. They ate the last 1/4 of butter?

It's great that the boys are still together -- even if it involves a conspiracy. Maybe the smoke was from the birthday cake???? :)

grace said...

Ahhh....and yet another gay fellow proves tidily, yet again...that he is INDEED...just a boy.

grace said...

i mean "boy" in the "gender" sense of the word....not the "immaturity" sense...

i'm clarifying for others, norm!...i KNOW that you "get" me... ;)

Dannybrou said...

hey grace... I am posting here to ask you for prayers and the fact that you probably understand where I am coming from is very helpful.

I have a good friend of mine who I have become close with. I think some Emotional Dependecy creeped in on this friendship...because now that he is hanging out with a lot more people it tends to bother me and makes me sad.

In the whole big skeme of things..this may sound trivial, but the impact it is having on my life right now is unimaginable

I hope you do not mind me rambling....

grace said...

Danny,
Of course I don't mind your rambling. I'm sorry it's taken me a whole day to reply to you. I am praying for you and your situation. Don't hesitate to email me if you want/need/just feel like it.

I know a great deal about where you are coming from and for some odd reason have a heart for folks in your situation, and certainly you personally.

love in Christ,
pam

Anonymous said...

I'm sure this situation can't be easy, but it sounds like looking at positivies is key.

Your mention of Cherry cobbler made me hungry too!

Steve F. said...

My mother's prayer used to be, "Just keep them alive, Lord. We will deal with the rest of it, somehow."

Just the fact that they made a substantial effort to restore the place to it's "native state" is a good sign. That, and the fact that people weren't still in the bathroom throwing up when you got home... I had a few of those parties, myself...

Your family looks beautiful - despite all the challenges, I hope you know how blessed you are. I, too, look forward to reading and learning more of you and your crew.
Steve F.

Tin Man said...

I hope you don't mind if I got a good chuckle out of all of this.