The answer is, "yes". Tdub and I remain friends. We are in touch at least once a week and usually more because of the boys. And, we really talk every once in a while, maybe once a month or so. We chatted for about 30 minutes online just today. He is doing well. The main topic of our discussions when we have time to really get into serious conversation, like today, pertains to spiritual sorts of matters. My biggest concern is his soul and that he tend to it. He didn't leave the marriage in a very graceful way, you see. It was very sudden for me, happening literally overnight through the course of an all-night discussion. By that time, he'd already "left" but hadn't gotten around to letting me know. He's apologized, sincerely, and I've forgiven him, sincerely. But, the fact that he left so suddenly, without "due process", so to speak, means that he left in a pretty horrid state spiritually and even emotionally for himself. He just didn't give it the time and effort it deserved, even if he'd ended up with the same decision, which he probably would have; he could have made it happen in a more appropriate way. These are things we've discussed, and it's okay between us now as far as being able to have a relationship as friends.
He says he holds me in the highest esteem. He seems most regretful of the fact that he doesn't feel he ever really loved me the way that he should have. I'm most regretful of not being more honest about some other issues not related to his sexuality that I should have been more open about. I had been very miserable living in the old house with all of it's issues for a very long time. But, there were always so many other things to tend to that I sort of pushed all of that back and allowed it to discourage me to the point that I would "escape" to the blog or to reading or other pursuits when I could have been more engaged in the family life. Oh well. It's all water under the bridge now. That's honestly the way I feel about it. Is that horrible?
There's more I could say, but I'll leave it for another post. I have a script to finish writing for a youth drama we're doing at church.
love and grace,
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