Here's his comment:
"I know men with same sex attractions who remain married to their wives. One man, who identifies as bisexual, lives with his wife although they no longer have a sexual relationship. They remain companions in every other sense of the word. He says he is content, but adds that he is not sure about how his wife feels because she prefers to not discuss the issue. "
Apparently this approach works for this couple. But I'm telling you right here and now it would NEVER work for me or Tdub. It's messed up on so many levels as it pertains to our shared view of what marriage is all about.
#1 being the lack of sexual relationship. whoa! I'm good with the "companions in every other sense of the word" part but for us, it's that part of the relationship that keeps us wanting each other more and more sexually. As we continue to learn about each other, to know each other more deeply and fully in all sorts of situations, our sexual relationship continues to grow/deepen (whatever word i put there is full of innuendo ha!) as well. It's like the icing on a cake, the whipped cream on a sundae, a great highlight job after an awesome cut, or having your dentist offer to whiten your teeth at his cost. It's just SWEET.
The #2 way this scenario is a "no go" for us is the part of about not being sure how the wife feels because of not discussing the issue. Tdub and I discuss everything. We talk about everything from the lack of brownie chunks in our Blue Belle ice cream (appalling) to conjecturing over how many times and in what rooms we're afraid #1 has had sex with his girlfriend. We may have some catching up to do during extremely busy weeks...but...nothing is off limits. If we can't talk about it....then it's a discussion we need to have with the therapist either individually or together. End of story.
I'm certainly not picking on Peterson or his comment here. Not at all. Just using it as a springboard to share and write about how things work for us. I sometimes get the impression that my virtual gay friends may think we have just learned to be content with less and that's why this whole "ex-gay" thing works for us. Not so. My real life gay friends can certainly attest to this since they actually see us in living breathing color. Tdub and I are not settling for less, we are enjoying God's finest. In Him and in one another.