And Your Point Is?

*whew* long day getting back into the swing of things after Spring Break....

I had a little email exchange over the weekend that reminded me of this little saying....which I've used from time to time as a bit of a humorous "aside" of sorts when talking with friends.

"If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck......chances are....it's a duck."

There's a lot of truth to that statement. In fact, used wisely, and with GRACE, it can be a helpful admonition. However, used like a blanket, as if every night were a cold one in a home lacking heat, it becomes suffocating and limiting.

Lest my point get lost under the covers of my blankets here...I'm going to give a real life example.

I meet tons of ducks as a teacher. All shapes and sizes. On two specific occasions that I can think of, I've encountered a duck that looked, walked, and quacked as if it had little or no sense whatsoever. The particular ducks I'm speaking of were not part of my homeroom class. (I've been on both sides of this sort of duck scenario) Basically, I've gone to inquire as to how I can relate to such an obviously "bird-brained" duck only to discover that said duck has an IQ of the sort that invents vaccines or finds cures for cancer. This is actually a smart duck. A real smart duck. And yet, it appeared to me, to be a stupid duck. I learned quickly how to be more successful with the duck just by reinterpreting his quacks and responding accordingly.

I think my point might be....that we are all ducks of some sort. And we all make judgments about each other based on our preconceived notions. For me, I'm learning to let the cute little duck statement be just that...a funny little aside that says more about ME than the person I'm looking at or judging. It's a beginning place for me to get to know the REAL duck that's underneath the one I've labeled based on my own biases. I may find that I was entirely correct in my labeling...but...more often, I'll probably learn that there's a lot more to that duck than could be summed up in my cute and funny phrase.

Christine said this in my comments in regards to the fact that she is not typically labeled gay by the way she looks, talks, or acts....
So maybe what's needed is to look at why me being, looking or acting "feminine" is culturally viewed as incompatible with being gay...instead of insisting that I must be straight because I look it, walk it, quack like it...

I could turn that very statement around....and talk about how many "feminine" qualities like creative expression and emotional sensitivity in men are often viewed as being incompatible with being straight.....

I'm tired. Enough of the ducks already. *quack* quack*quack*!

grace






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