We all know about Tdub's issues, which, while not at a level of impairment to the marriage (we have an awesome and fullfilling sex life...which IS a postitive change and a testament to the God's healing) still exist at some level. I am not of the opinion, as it seems some are, that in order to say one has changed orientation one needs to be completely free of any battles with attraction to the same sex. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that a certain level of the battle is a healthy reminder of healing, God's grace, and the constant need to rely on Him above all else. In fact, I believe that any married woman who is foolish enough to believe that her husband does not struggle with sexual attractions of SOME kind at some level, is just in denial. I happen to have the "benefit" of being more aware of my husband's struggle than most women.
The other strugglers in our house are the 18 yr. old and the 14 yr. old. I don't doubt for one moment that they struggle with heterosexuality or opposite sex attraction. I know it is a battle for them to resist sexual impurity. How do I know this? Because they are physically healthy males.
My point is two-fold. First, sexual desire is part of the way God designed us. Any sex outside of marriage is sin. Which, yes, I understand makes a point for gay marriage. But, in all honesty, do we really believe that marriage is going to make gay people more chaste? It hasn't worked with heterosexuals. Truthfully, I've almost convinced myself that we indeed should go ahead and allow gay marriage in the off chance that maybe it would motivate gays to be more chaste.
Secondly, I tend to believe that the reason the gay lifestyle (and I include closeted married men) is "typically" more promiscuous than the heterosexual lifestyle is because being gay involves men only. And men typically have less self-control and stronger drives when it comes to sex in general.
I know that sexual struggle is a problem with women as well. But, not at the same level as with men. As rampant as heterosexual sex outside of marriage is, I think the one factor that keeps it more in check than with gays has to do with women who, as a general rule, aren't as promiscuous as men.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just totally nutso with this line of thinking. I guess I'm just trying to be realistic about what it means to be Christian. For me, it means we struggle, all of us. But not only does Christ make us whole, over time, but most importantly He makes us presentable to a God who is to sin as lightness is to dark.
I'll end with a quote.
"A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is... A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in." C.S. Lewis