I have so much to write about that I often feel stuck or frozen. I started a post about how my mom served as the church secretary and how that impacted so many aspects of my childhood growing up. But it all turns into a jumble somehow like it needs to cook a little longer before it's ready to come flowing out of me. Who knows. I just know that I feel like I need to be writing, and somehow, hitting publish on these blog posts gives me a sense that I've done something worthwhile.
The main thing I'm trying to unravel is exactly how the religious and cultural indoctrinations/lessons/experiences I had as a child here in Duncan impacted my ability to be successful in other aspects of my life. It's not about blame. It's about unraveling knots that happened, for whatever reason, and moving forward toward greater emotional health. Living here has literally forced my mind into this place because I'm surrounded by it. Like living at the scene of some sort of accident. It feels like I have no choice but pick myself up and to do it. And that's what I'm trying to do.
And it's horrible. It's painful. It's excruciating. But the thing is, the fact that it's so painful points me toward the notion that it simply must be done. There's no way forward but to go right through.
So that's what I'm doing. Come what may.
That's all I've got for now. But I'll be able to hit "publish" and move forward with today knowing that I did some writing. Thanks for reading!
love,
grace
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