Friday, November 21, 2008

FeeLiNg LonLeY...yet Thankful

I'm feeling rather lonely lately. Because the truth of the matter is that no matter how busy I am with producing 6th grade versions of The Odyssey or Macbeth (our current project), or reading and writing papers for graduate school, or grading papers, or walking dogs, or updating MySpace and Facebook.....well....there's just nothing that takes the place of having a partner that gives a rip about what the heck is going on with you.

HOWEVER, feeling lonely is normal (for me) and I remind myself that I've felt lonely at times even when I've had a partner(see tragic motif), and so I'm getting past it. I think.

In other news and updates:

  • My cousin the politician, Wes, got married last weekend to a great girl and they had a lovely wedding that turned out to be the biggest one I've ever had the honor of "coordinating". Basically, I was just in charge of "ram-rodding" the ceremony so that no one forgot when to walk down the aisle, where to stand, or when and how to get the heck back OUT at the end. The couple received a STANDING OVATION at the end of the ceremony (about 600 guests) and I've never seen that happen at the end of a wedding. Neat, yet different.
  • I've read approximately 3lbs. of the 6lb. book I have for graduate school. I've learned a ton of stuff....no, wait, I guess I've technically learned 3lbs. of stuff. Maybe.
  • Drew is playing basketball and he is AMAZING. Imagine a NASCAR race with all the heavy souped-up-engine cars wheeling around the track. Out of the nowhere comes a speed demon little Volkswagen darting in, out, and through the pack. That's Drew. So fun to watch.
  • My 6th grade students continue to "school" me on what it means to be a part of a community that's been together since dirt. OH, it has it's drawbacks, and I tend to hyper-focus on those aspects of life here most of the time. But in the grand scheme of things, I see some kids every day who are gaining the sort of footing that makes them strong enough to go forth and conquer. And I'm challenged to inspire them to do so every day. Even IF they think Obama is Muslim! *wink*
  • I had an awesome chat with Tdub last night. It's amazing, absolutely amazing really, how REAL he is now that he's living a life that's authentic to his person hood. I will say this: no matter where you fall on the whole gay thing....these guys NEED to be able to just BE. God grant us all the grace to allow folks to just figure out their own crap.....is that so much to ask? Really?
  • I miss my boys. I just do. I miss being Mom all the time. I think I miss that most of all.
I'm thankful for you. My blog family. I'd ask you to comment just to make me feel good but that would be tacky, wouldn't it??? Would it? Would ya? :)

love and grace,
pam

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14 comments:

Norm! said...

The 6th grade was one of my favorite school years, so it's neat to hear your teacher's perspective. I still remember the video plays we wrote, rehearsed, and produced. I'm especially glad that you have an influence in opening your kids' minds beyond Obama-is-a-Muslim rhetoric. I certainly credit my 6th grader teacher for my left-leaning tendencies. :)

So Drew is like Herbie?

Wow. Good luck on that 6-lb book. I can barely read a magazine or 2-page memo without mentally wondering off.

It's certainly not like having a partner, but you know your blog readers give a rip about you doings.

Kat said...

Hi Grace! I love your blog and reading your thoughts. Thanks for allowing me in here. I love to read also the thoughts of one who loves teaching so much. I've just begun a three month long assignment in kindergarten and with 32 students, it's not an easy task. I LOVE the kids but 32 is WAY too many 5yr olds! Having a partner? Yup, it can be lonely even if you have one. (Long story)
I'm with Norm....your blog readers definitely give a rip about you and your doings. Thanks for brightening my Saturday morning!
Hugs, Kat

Iain said...

Hi, Pam,

So sorry to hear you're feeling lonely at the moment. I hope and pray you'll find someone you deserve and who deserves you; just as T-dub has found.

I know cyberhugs aren't the same as the real thing, but it's the best I can manage from 3000 miles away!

Take care now.

Your fellow INFP.

Bonjour Matey! said...

I love you and miss you terribly. And you will always be my Ms. Manager.

grace said...

Norm!: That's encouraging about your 6th grade teacher...I like the idea of being at least "remembered" somehow. Yes....Herbie is a great simile for Drew! And thanks for giving a rip about my doings! It means a lot to me.

Kat: Thanks for brightening MY Sat. morning! 32 K-students...YIKES! My prayers are with you.

Iain: As an INFP you understand that feeling isolated is sort of ingrained in your being...thanks for the virtual hug.

Linz: Makes me smile every time you call me that! Remember, there's always money in the banana stand!

David said...

Comment just because you begged? Really!

Love ya, Pam. :)

grace said...

David: Thanks sweetie! You're awesome! Love you too!! oh...and I know you don't care all that much, but I've kinda gotten into cheering for your Horns this season. I'm hoping they'll be able to pull out the #1 spot!

otrolado said...

I am a big fan of your blog! I thought I would leave you a comment stating such. This was in no way prompted by your solicitation ;)

grace said...

Otrolado: Wow! Thanks so much! I love meeting new people who've been reading. Friend of David, I see from your blogroll! :)

Journeyman said...

As someone who can often relate to the loneliness, I would not wish it on anyone, anytime, anywhere. I am so glad to find thankfulness in your blog, though. Hang in there, OK?

kurt_t said...

A little OT, but I was at the San Francisco Auto Show on Sunday, and I saw the Mini Cooper and immediately thought of you!

I said "Oh, I'm gonna tell Pam to pull a 'Name it and claim it' on a fire engine red convertible Mini Cooper." And then I said "Wait. No. Wrong belief system. Pam is way too orthodox for that sort of thing."

So now I think what you need to do is look in your heart and discern if you have a calling for a fire engine red convertible Mini Cooper.

Me, I want a Mustang, but I'm probably going to end up with a Honda Element.

Brady said...

Hey Pam! So, you start by saying you're lonely, then list off a whole bunch of things you are thankful for. Now, that's inspiring, seriously!

I also really liked your comment on TDub's changes. I feel that has happened in my life, but glad to see that outsiders can see it too.

Have a happy Thanksgiving!

grace said...

Kurt: I'm pretty sure I was BORN with a calling for a fire engine red mini-cooper....and thanks for thinking of me! I like the metaphor....and one day maybe we'll have to explore that one more deeply! ha!

Brady: Always good to hear from you!! Hey...if you have facebook you need to add me!!

tdub68 said...

today, especially, i am thankful for YOU...for the fact that we could have such a great chat ... that our lives are still intertwined in a good way ... that you continue to be part of OUR family.

ly / tdub