Then, occasionally, I'll stumble onto a blog out there from a woman or man who is at this moment living the sort of tragedy that I lived during my marriage to Tdub. It's tough to read, yet I'll find myself reading it in the same sort of way I can't stop scratching a mosquito bite.
I've been reading one of those stories lately. I'll not link to it because I'm not sure they'd want more attention brought that way and they appear to have their own little blog circle of friendship formed much the way I have mine here.
Many of the circumstances of their story are different. They've only ever been married to one another and their children belong to them together. They're not involved in any sort of therapy to try and change or manage the guy's attractions to other guys. They are both blogging about their experiences and feelings. Also, and I admire this so much, the guy came out to his wife of his own volition. He wasn't acting out sexually or forced to come clean with her because their marriage was in deep trouble. Basically, it appears to me that she is his best friend and he could no longer keep it from her, even though he apparently married her believing that it was something he could "work through" or "get past".
And that's where the stories, theirs and mine, intersect in a way that brings it all rushing back and gives me a kinship with them that runs deep, cutting to the very core of who we are as human beings. Reading their story reminds me of the reasons I started blogging in the first place. It's connection. Finding other folks who related to me, particularly in the middle of something so daunting, gave me a sense of purpose and even hope that all was not, and is not, for naught.
There's nothing much worse than living as a victim in some sort cruel play. It's a hopeless feeling. But somehow, knowing that I was not alone, gave me hope.
I want that couple to know that there is hope, so I'll keep checking in on them. And even though there are times as I read their story that I feel like I'm watching a train wreck in slow motion, I'm here for them. Just as so many of you have always been here for me.
love and grace,
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