Ok...I promised when I started this to blog about some of the ridiculous things one can see when venturing into the world of online dating. There's actually a huge part of me that's sort of relieved that I suck at online dating. I mean....the whole thing is pretty cheesy. And yet. I'm trying it. *sigh*
So. Let me give you a sense of the online dating experience from my viewpoint.
#1 I attract cowboy types. UGH. Either that, or cowboys types are attracted to anything with reasonably coiffed eyebrows and a vague promise that there might be boobs involved. I mean, I state in my profile that I pretty much despise country music and consider "boot scootin" to be the downfall of our society. (Believe me it's not the gays, it's boot-scootin that will be our ruination.) I guess cowboy types don't read much....ya think?
#2 Old men are gross. Seriously. And you know, I think that's all I'm gonna say about that.
#3 Insert motorcycle dudes with tatoos into every place in #1 that says cowboy types or boot-scootin'.
#4 The number of men who think a confederate flag makes a great backdrop for a photo disturbs me greatly.
#5 Most of the guys who talk about being Christian in their profile, also list "The Left Behind Series" as the most compelling thing they've read lately. Many of them even go into detail about how they are so glad that they now have such a great idea of what the book of Revelations is all about and what to expect at the end of the world. OH. MY. GOSH. Words escape me at this point to describe how incredibly ignorant I find this to be. I'm so judgemental sometimes. I admit it. It's FICTION, people, and it's not even barely good writing! They may as well list that they learned all about Jesus from reading "The DaVinci Code".
#6 Just after "The Left Behind Series" in popular book reading for men, we have Joel Osteen's "Your Best Life Now". aaaaaaaauuuuuuuugggghhhhh!
#7 There are certain recurring statements and phrases in profiles. "no game-playing", "no head games", "looking for serious relationship", and one even said "don't piss on my foot and tell me it's raining" HUH??? I understand the sentiment contained in these statements, but come on. Just because everyone you're interested in doesn't "click" with you, it doesn't mean people are playing games. And, I do know that some people do "play games" on dating sites, but it seems really ineffective to me to try and deter that behavior by stating those sorts of disclaimers. Maybe it's just me, but it seems that you've got to expect a certain amount of disappointment and frustration when you get involved in something as open-ended as online dating. It reminds me of teachers who spend countless hours complaining about poorly behaved children. Everyone's gotta do some venting, but HELLO, you're a TEACHER. That's kinda part of it.
The bottom line is that I'd much rather bump into that perfect guy at Barnes & Noble. We'd spill latte all over each other as we tumbled to the floor surrounded by the armfuls of books we're carrying on subjects like literature, theology, and history. Oh. And world travel. Let's not leave out the world travel. And possibly a little technology. I love technology. (can you hear Kip from Napoleon Dynamite right now?)
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