Wednesday, June 13, 2007

If Dogs Could Talk

I'm back in Oklahoma and very close to securing a job! Pray, please! It's really just a matter of paperwork at this point.

Here's a doggie conversation that will give you an indication of how lovely it's been to travel with my little darlins.

Come here sis, we've got to talk.
I tink I taw a tiny wittle bug on the fwoor ovah here.
GET over here!
Pweeze don't yell at me.
I know you don't want to talk about it, but we've got to talk about it.
I weally wuv dis pink spahkly collah momee bought me.
What were you THINKING in the car today??
I wuz tinking about how much I wuv momee.
Is that what you were thinking when you POOPED in the back seat?
I don't wanna talk about it. Besides, YOU did it. I taught it would be otay.
Listen, sis. I get CARSICK. Momee knows that. But when you did what you did, I thought she was going to run us off the road!
Momee is so pretty, but I tink she might be a wittle bit navigationwally chawwenged.
Why do you think I get so carsick? You're avoiding the issue.
Don't you tink Momee is pwetty?
Yes, aside from that stuff she puts on her face once a week, she's absolutely gorgeous. Now, back to my point. You do NOT under any circumstances whatsoever POOP in the back seat of momee's car when she's driving. And certainly not after she's stopped 4 times to clean up after me.
I tink I know why dey say "sick as a dog" now.
I can't help it. Momee knows I get carsick. But you have no excuse.
Momee wuvs me no matter what.
Again, not the point. We both want to live long happy dog lives with Momee. Momee is not getting any younger and cleaning up after me is enough. You've got to get control of yourself, Sis!
Otay. But will you pwomise me one ting?
If she twies to put one of those doggie dwesses on me, will you chew it to shweds?
Sorry sis, you're on your own there. I'm the golden boy and I intend to keep it that way.


Norm! said...

I have to show Scott this post. He loves your dogs.

I'll let him tell you his story of driving cross country with four cats.

grace said...

oh...I'd love to hear his story! I love stories about the crazy things we'll put up with because of our pets. I can't even imagine 4 cats in a car, let alone driving cross country.

kurt_t said...

Oh man. I take my cats five blocks down the street to the vet, and they act like they're re-enacting the shower scene in "Psycho."

And whenever they see a raccoon in the backyard, they express their displeasure by pooping on the dining room floor.

grace said...

Kurt: I can hear the music in the background! ha!

I finally remembered to caption sparky in the photo album with your comment!

Ally said...


I'm laughing so hard I don't think I can pray. I'll put it on the list for after lunch. =)

Anonymous said...

This is GREAT!! I script for my two cats - the neighbors must think I'm crazy. But glad to see others do this as well! Pets are soooo great for company and conversation!! This warms my heart.

Journeyman said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. And good luck in Oklahoma. (Tangent: I was in the musical in high school. Yep, I loved the singing and the dancing. And that was long before I realized I was gay. All the signs were there. LOL)

Have a good weekend with those talking dogs of yours.

Robert said...


Wittle Emma and Spahkee aw so koot!
Did Emmas go poopies in Mawmies cahr? How tweet! Now evweewun knows dat Emma wikes to wide wit Mawmie!

I wanna giv ems big kisses on der wittle nuwzels!!!