Saturday, January 27, 2007

It Is Finished

"It Is Finished" may sound a bit sacrilegious for a title, but it conveys my feelings so well.

Here I am.

All in one piece and even smiling a bit. :) I appreciate all of you who read this stuff. Nothing like a real-time, real-live "drama" to distract folks from the otherwise hectic existence they themselves are living through. However, I do recognize that there's more to my "drama" than meets the eye. I know I'm changed. People can and do change, you know. ;) The key to everything I'm about is in staying tuned in to God's Holy Spirit (our comforter, our guide here at this time) and keeping the change I seek to be aligned with the change he seeks.

I do know that most of you, not those of you who comment of course, read about my life because you desire a distraction. I believe those who comment, and some who don't, read because you care or have come to care. And so, in this way, you are changed as well.

I was telling my students the other day that some folks have opinions and beliefs that are like bricks; they are hard and fixed and when they get chipped away, the entire belief system is chipped away. And then, there are others, like myself, whose beliefs are like a lump of playdoh. They are pliable and get squashed, dented, formed, and molded over time as various experiences occur. The basic belief, whatever makes playdoh be playdoh, remains....but the form and the expression of the belief is moldable.

I've been blessed. My chunk of playdoh has been squished and squashed, pounded flat and then re-shaped again and again. And yet, it's a beautiful work of art always in the making. And it smells good too. (i love the smell of playdoh!)

I love all of you that are a part of that sweet aroma as it rises up to our Father in heaven. This aroma includes the straight, the gay, the ex-gay, and so many in-between.

love and grace,

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Robert said...


Your words are so true. I recognize that I am playdoh too. I am not the person I was last year or any year before. Change is scary, but it is the nature of all things. Better to mold with it than be crushed and crumbled.

I might add that your journey, and many other journeys of bloggers, travel roads that many of us "peeps" have been on before. Is it a distraction? Perhaps, but in a way traveling those roads again, albeit vicariously, allows us to reexamine our lives, deal with old wounds or baggage, and perhaps, if we are lucky, to pass on some wisdom that we learned while walking these same paths.

Thank you (and Tdub when he popped in) for sharing some important and transparent moments.


grace said...

Your wisdom and humor have helped make this leg of the journey more bearable. ;)

Jay said...

Thanks for everything, Pam. You know that I've found so much encouragement in your story and your walk of faith. Now, I hope that when you say "finished," you aren't referring to the blog. If you are, I understand, but you'd still better e-mail me! :)

God Bless

Peterson Toscano said...

Pam, I love this picture of you--honest, vulnerable, present and beautiful.

grace said...

Jay: "It" is finished...but not ME!! haha! You encourage me as well...and I'll be blogging still.

Peterson: Awww, so sweet, thank you. :)

love and grace,