Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Divorce and the CHURCH-a parody

I don't understand what's up with the CHURCH accepting all these divorced folks as Christians. I mean, they are D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D. Sure, some of them have their biblical "get out of jail free card" due to infidelity. But, hell's bells, a whole dad-gum bunch of them just got sick and tired of being sick and tired of the person they married. They decided the grass was greener in another pasture, so they left their pasture and found another one. Sure, maybe some of them were being physically or emotionally abused, but hey, tough luck. There's no provision for that in the black and white of scripture. And yet, we ACCEPT them! Sure, they can't be elders, deacons, or preachers(unless they are very well-connected), but still, we treat them as if they are actually forgiven Christians just like us, capable of going to HEAVEN.

Oh. My. Gosh.

I know some of them live and serve and work and do all sorts of honorable things. But, you know, the statistics PROVE that divorced people are more promiscuous as a lot than
once-only-married heterosexuals. I mean, certainly those divorced folks are just out there having sex with the next available divorcee' as if there's no tomorrow, or today or yesterday for that matter! They're a rowdy bunch, those divorcees.

And yet. We accept so MANY of them and treat them as if they are really and truly Christian?


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lakelady said...

As I sat in my family group at a church member’s house a while back, the hostess, (a woman who is very active and well loved) was talking about someone that was not in our group. She was actually saying some very nice things about her but she added at the end "She's divorced, you know." I was so taken aback. Why do people think that they must not only judge, but share their judgments with others? As much as I loved the group, I quit going. Partially time restraints, and partially because I was (and am) going through a separation and difficult time with my husband. Reaching out to this woman would be impossible. I didn't want to be the next victim of her gossip. I have enough worries without worrying if someone that is a trusted church member is adding little snide comments to her compliments.

Peterson Toscano said...

Hmm, I guess that is one of the upsides to not being legally allowed to marry. It will save us gays and lesbians from getting divorced then get rejected by the church. Yuck, that would suck.

Norm! said...

LOL, Peterson. I'm still waiting for the divorce pride parades. :-)

I can't help but think divorce is so much more acceptable in Christian culture simply because it's better understood than homosexuality. Anyone who knows the nitty-gritty details of a friend or family member's marital problems is less likely to throw doctrine in their face. I'm reminded of my mom's own struggle with divorce. After months of pastoral counseling about her troubled marriage, my mom's conservative Christian pastor finally asked, "Why don't you get a divorce?" She was shocked, but I think it also helped her to know that her pastor was giving her permission. Would a pastor ever say, "Why don't you just come out?"

grace said...

Thanks so much for commenting! We must be "soul sisters" of a sort because I probably would have had the same reaction and done the same thing. However, I'm learning not to trust those "reactions" and wait a bit. There may be a reason you are there that doesn't have anything to do with may be ministering to someone else, which, in turn will minister back to you. Just something to consider. Not a reprimand, certainly, cause...I'm pretty sure I'd have done what you did! :)

Peterson: It's all relative, isn't it? :)

Norm!: I think you are onto something here. Really.

love and grace,

lakelady said...

I am no longer going to that group, but I still love the couple. (A vacation, of sorts, for a while?) I don't agree with the gossip so a group that is all about sharing private thoughts and family matters is a little scary right now. The couple runs the AWANA program at our church and puts in way more than their fair share of time. I love working with them in that capacity but just don't want to stay in a small group with them while I am trying to figure out what I need to do. This is my second marriage, and the feeling of failure is very strong even though my therapist says he is even angry at the way I am treated and what I have put up with. “It takes two to tango”, as the saying goes and you have been instrumental in helping me find strength and direction through all of this in the last year or so. Perhaps, when the nerve endings are not so exposed I will go back to that same family group. Other than the gossip issue I loved everyone and benefited from the class as well! Thanks Pam for you open and honest blogs!

Inheritor of Heaven said...

Um....I thought divorce was the unforgivable sin?...or was that homosexuality?....hmmmm I can't recall.


Blessings to you. You are a blessing to others.

grace said...

Lakelady: I can't begin to tell you how utterly humbling your comment is to me. I'm blessed that you've found encouragement in my story. I'm encouraged to continue to tell it...honestly and transparently....and I'm humbled to know that it's actually touched someone in an instrumental way. I totally "get" what you are saying about the group and your hesitancy. I think this very much parallels my inner desire to move away and "start fresh", so to speak. Thank YOU for blessing me with your honesty in commenting.

Inheritor: You rock.
(i'd say you "rock my socks" but that's SO 7th grade! hee hee!)

Pomoprophet said...

so good! I might steal this and post it on my blog sometime. With props to you... of course!

grace said...

Thanks pomoprophet....feel free to use it as you'd like!
love and grace,