Saturday, September 16, 2006

The Adventure Continues

Adventure sounds so much more romantic than saga or tragedy. The last two weeks have been eventful, to say the very least.

I hadn't mentioned last week that I bought a new car in the midst of all this. There's no need to detail everything, but, in the giant shuffle of "stuff" it ended up best for Tdub to take the cars and for me to take the house. So, I bought a brand new car, a Kia Spectra, with a warranty so huge that I'm only responsible for changing oil, tires, and I think those little rubber windshield wiper thingies.

The lovely guest house we've been staying in, part of a much larger sort of horse-ranch type property, had been put on the market the day before Drew (that's #4's name) and I had moved in but the owner's were certain it wouldn't sell anytime soon since they'd over-priced it considerably.

The 1888-built house that Tdub and I had lived in with our four boys since the day we married was put on the market last Monday.

And here, this little adventure-within-the-adventure begins.

Monday: The realtor officially placed the sign in our front yard. My realtor is a story unto herself, by the way. Her exact words when referring to her own feelings about buying and fixing up an old house were, "I'd rather be nibbled to death by ducks." She's a peice of work. But I knew, if anyone could sell it, she could.

Tuesday: The realtor called me with the news that there was a contract on the house. I was thrilled and went by to sign some papers. I found out there's a 5-day opt out which means the person, who gave a tiny little check of earnest money, can back out any time before 5 p.m. this Sunday evening.

Wednesday: I'd gone home after school to relax a bit before Wednesday night bible class and there was a knock at my little guest house door. It was my hostess. The contract that had been put on their property had gone through and we all had eight days to vacate the property. I'd known this might happen but had been waiting and half-hoping the deal wouldn't go through. The owners doubted from the start that the contract would stick, but, lo and behold, it did. Oh goody. ;) I left shortly after our conversation to pick up Drew his friend's house and head on to church. On the way, in my brand new, one-week-and-one-day-old Spectra, I crashed into the back of a Texas-sized farm truck with a LARGE steel bumper. My Kia folded up like a Coke can and I'm pretty sure I saw the big steel bumper yawn, stretch, and go back to protecting the truck to which it's still attached. Oh woe is me. When will the madness end?

And yet, God, I'm absolutely convinced beyond all doubt, is IN this madness. The guy I'd hit was a great friend and fellow youth-parent from church. Our boys are all friends and one of them was with him. How many times do you ram into the back of someone and have them get out of their vehicle and come and give you a big hug to console you? He was apologizing to me! And I'd hit HIM! This all makes it sound like the town we live in must be very small, but it's not. The car was still barely driveable and he, along with some other friends we called, helped me get it back to the guest house. I went back to the car I'd been borrowing for the two weeks before I bought the Kia and managed, somehow, to get my wits about me that evening well enough to get a decent night's sleep.

Thursday: Drew and I got up for school the next day and walked out to see our newly crashed car in the gleaming morning sun. It overwhelmed me. By the time we arrived at school I was in tears, thinking about what all needed to be done and all that had happened. Just complete mental and emotional overload. My assistant principal was awesome and amazing and a substitute was called in so that I could take the day, catch my breath, get insurance/repair things started on the car, and begin moving our things to our next place of residence. Thursday turned out to be a wonderfully refreshing day. I actually felt I had the TIME to deal with the STUFF going on. I also spent a good amount of time visiting with our the new benevolence/counseling minister at our church. Thanks, Grandpa Sancho! ;)

Friday: Back to school and back to "normal", whatever that is. Drew and I moved all our things to our new place on Thursday night and came here (where we are now) after school yesterday. Drew and our new hostess played a few rounds of Skipbo last night while I read a magazine, dozed off and on, and just basically CHILLED OUT. It was great.

Today/Saturday: I'm going to visit with our therapist in a little bit. Looking forward to processing through some questions I have about sex and intimacy with him.

Continue to pray that God's will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

love and grace to you,


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kurt_t said...

It's like I always say, "Everything always happens all at once."

I don't know why. It just does.

Anonymous said...

May He give grace upon grace and unexplainble hope to continue to light your way.



Robert said...

Nibbled to death by ducks is a vivid and remarkably accurate description of what it sounds like you are going through. UGGGGHH!!! It sounds like you are taking the old rip-the-band-aid-off-fast-so-it-will-hurt-but-only-for-a-short-while-approach. Some silver linings are in your story though: it does not sound like anyone was seriously hurt in the auto accident.

Are the boys staying together? Me thinks they will need to be together through this one.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you.

grace said...

Thanks guys (and becky!).

I may be onto a better internet connection. When I first arrived here at the new place it wasn't working worth a flip. But then, #2 (the 15 yr. old) stayed here last night with me and he got on and just started chatting and myspacing away like mad. It seems fine now! Thank the Lord teenagers are good for something! haha! J/K ;)

love and grace,

Christine said...

Pam, thinking of you through all of this. Hugs (and I'm hoping they'll be in person someday...)

I have been so behind blogging that it seems even my sister beats me to the comments now! ;) (at least, I think it's her)

grace said...

I found that funny as well...that Becky commented before you! ha!

I'm holding up....Unfortunately, Sunday evening and then yesterday (monday) turned out to be about as "eventful" as the previous's absolutely crazy. No time to write about it now...but soon.

love and grace,

Robert said...

I imagine that the boys are going through similar "adventures," with anger, hurt, and confusion leading the way. I had a similar situation with my significant other of 12 years, and I would find that I was asking myself if the events taking place around me were part of my coping mechanism or if I was just going looney tunes.

grace said...

Yeah. I'm very concerned about them....particularly #2 and #3 (tdub's guys). It's just SO much to process right now. I'm doing what I can right now to assure them that they've not lost me as their mother. It's going to take some time for all this dust to settle.

Robert said...

Hey Pam (I SOOO want to call you GRACE!!)

I am SO glad you and the boys are sticking together. Tdub's sudden Thursday night discussion, and your relating of the event, triggered a lot of memories for me that I had buried really deep. For me, I came to know that someone I knew casually was having a sexual relationship with my partner and that is how MY "sudden Thursday night discussion" went. I learned that night that there was no rational reason that my parther was ending our sexual relationship other than that he was infatuated with this other man. In fact, as I looked back on the situation prior to his announcement, my partner was dropping hints of an open relationship where he could pursue his new relationship and keep me on the side. Some of the things you related over these months sounded just the same.

As always, I am keeping you in my thoughts. I actually feel a little cathartic sharing my story in a small way on your blog.


grace said...


In this situation, I've found that one (like me) can look back and realize that for a certain amount of time, the "other" (in this case tdub) has been living in a sort of alternate universe of which you are not a part. So, a sudden late night discussion, for them, is liberating and in some twisted way, even in the "best interest" of their partner. They are doing the "right thing" in a completely wrong situation that they've chosen to pursue. It's insane, really.

Gotta run...I promise to try and blog later. There's SO MUCH I'm processing that I'd love to share. Just too much LIFE happening right now. ugh!

love and grace,

David Roberts said...

Pam! I leave you alone for a few days and things just go wacky! I'm so sorry about the car but any accident where no one is injured is really not so bad. I'm glad you are taking some time to process when possible and you do have a support system around you. These events can really accumulate and knock you around if you don't pay attention. God is with you, of that I am sure, but darn it sometimes it's only human to want a break now and then, lol.

Those boys need their mother Pam, I am praying that God will enable you to help stabilize this "Mr Toad's Wild Ride" you are all on for their sake. Your love for them will make all the difference, as will remaining friends with TDub. You know how to get me if you need me.

Take care,
David Roberts

grace said...

"Mr.Toad's Wild Ride" brought me one of the biggest inside giggles I've had in a long while. You're awesome!
I have all four of them here with me tonight (saturday, 9-30) I'll call you's FINALLY starting to calm down here...once I get this place organized and decorated....we're good! :)